Trauma leading to porn addiction?: A case study

I heard horrifying childhood stories of one of my clients. His experiences shaked me to the core and it took me two days to settle my raging thoughts and sympathy towards my client and again gain a neutral stand and understand his past from a different perspective. I am writing this article with the consent of my client who wishes that his story help others who are going through similar experiences and seek help from mental health professionals.

So.....Johan (name changed) was studying in Sweden. He consulted me as he wanted to clear his thoughts and was finding his stay in Sweden lonely and overwhelming. He also told me that he used to take medicines for OCD in India. He consulted me as he thought that he was addicted to watching porn and wanted to stop it. He had intrusive thoughts about other girls and was confused if he should continue his current relationship or go for more attractive girls. It is very difficult for him to keep up with the scheduled appointments, follow college schedule, confused about the approach of his college friends. He was unable to understand if they were racist or making fun of him out of no mallicious intent.

We planned our sessions once a week. It's been more than a year now. He was not able to complete the assignments given by me so we majorly focused on the conversations. He learned how to deal with his sexual fantasies, porn addiction, intrusive thoughts about other girls. He understands how the anger and hate of his step mom was affecting his cleaning habits. Johan learned how his interpretations of the situations contribute to his self defeating behaviours.

It took him a year to gain insight into his thinking pattern and how it affected his behaviour. He came up with his own solutions, changed his unhelpful thoughts and self-defeating behaviours, tried to understand his family members with a different perspective. Now he is able to manage his schedule, do his chores, found some of his answers which were troubling him , still working on his internal conflicts and trying to find his own methods to control his porn watching. He has now unconditionally accepted his girlfriend and working hard for a better future and still working on some unresolved conflicts.

His case history indicated many reasons which could have caused the disturbance in his thinking and behaviours. He was physically abused in childhood by father, sexually abused by a neighbour, early death of his mother, presence of schizophrenia in family, rigid family values, pressure of studies, emotional reaction to the arrival of step mother, confusing and dubious behaviour of step mother, etc.

But Johan's zeel to prove himself, attitude of not giving up , fight for his rights, unending efforts to keep himself on the track, to correct his thinking errors, ignoring the negative behaviours of his classmates and just focusing on the constructive feedback, changing his cognitive distortions, etc. is helping him to sustain the challenges that he is facing.

Every case firms my belief that all of us have a seed of positivity inside us covered by many layers of experiences, faulty parenting practices, cognitive distortions, self doubts, low self esteem, etc. During therapy sessions or counselling or coaching these layers are opened by the client himself to find that seed of positivity, nurture it and grow it. It's always a great pleasure to see my client find that positivity and multiply it.

Dear reader, if you have also experienced trauma in your growing age or had bitter, abusive relationships which is affecting your studies, career, your current relationships, if you have an on the edge feeling, not grounded, a constant feeling of unhappiness, problems in your sexual life, then contact a therapist. You can be happy and feel safe and secure again!

Swapna Vithalkar

Ph.D. Psychology

Sex Addiction Specialist

Certified International Life Coach

WhatsApp +46 737608827

toshalife.com

psychologytoday.com